Chakra′s IPT

Besides the moon session which was peaceful and awakening, I also meditated at night for 25 more minutes. I think I did not sleep well last night, so I'm tired at the end of the day again. It wasn't that bad anyway, I kept noticing thoughts at first. Later on, the mind dwelt in feelings for a long while. Besides this intentional meditation period, I trained my consciousness while walking and waiting throughout the day as usual.

My consciousness occurred very frequently while meditating today. In the beginning there was a little bit of suppression, but later on, I noticed it being tense and it was released. I could spectate whatever appeared on the body and mind almost all the time. Towards the ending of the session I noticed my mind became weaker and tend to have longer periods of delusions (took a while until my consciousness could notice the current state).

To coach: I have a question! I'm not sure if I'm meditating correctly. I was told that samatha (สมถะ) meditation is when we are mindful of a single feeling, and that we should do this before doing vipassana (วิปัสสนา). Then, I was in / was listening to few satipattan (สติปัฏฐาน) course / explanation and it is about noticing whatever feeling that appears at the moment.

I do feel that I still lack of mindfulness (สติไม่ตั้งมั่น ไม่ค่อยมีกำลัง), should I practice the samatha way first? Or am I fine doing what I do? Do I have the right understanding? What I'm doing now once my mind drifts away is to acknowledge it once my consciousness catches it up, and notice what I feel about it drifting away. When questioning mind comes up, I tried noticing it too. Thanks :D

I seriously need discipline! I want to keep meditating everyday but I usually got carried away (since I have a happy life right now). Listening to Dhamma always help, but my faith decreases any day when I'm not listening.

Today was great. I noticed that I could meditate better by not making the meditation too intentional, otherwise I'd force myself into focusing too much and not seeing the truth of all matters: emerging, existing and ending. This is what I learnt from Dhamma. Diligence in meditation seems different from everything else. Usually I tend to have expectations and keep analyzing while doing other matters. For meditation, it is about frequently monitoring the consciousness, observing whatever state it becomes and what the mind feels about such state.


To coach:
I can't go anywhere this summer :(, I'll go back to Thailand in mid Nov. to the end of Dec.

When I started meditating I was able to notice many thoughts as they emerged and kept my attention upon the breath. Later on, I started feeling sleepy and there were periods that I was carried away. Besides sitting, I did my best meditating during the day: walking, eating, waiting, and spent time listening to Dhamma.

I used my breath for meditation today. It seemed to make my mind more focused. Stomach seems like a bigger area, my mind could not locate its center and it got confused, even though I have seen the diagram. Maybe I should start by pushing my finger on the right position? For the breath I kept feeling the nostril area where the wind touched while inhaling and exhaling. Everything else is the same as other days, trying my best to be the spectator.

I've been reading the whole day (was a novel homework)so my mind kept recalling different things. In this case, I was taught to observe the distraction, and when the mind become more still, continue meditating upon the breath or stomach or center of body. I did that and I saw that there were some memories of today, of the future, sometimes totally unrelated things. But once I noticed them, they disappeared, and newer ones soon emerged. I was content I was at the present moment most of the time, noticing my thoughts. I got carried away somtimes, and sometimes I was not distracted so I kept my attention on the center of body, feeling it raised up and down. I did 25 minutes and will do around 15 more minutes when I'm on the bed meditating to sleep because I'm so sleepy right now :P

I tried the Dhammakaya method today. Visualizing an object does not come natural to me and I found myself not relaxed, so I focused my attention on the stomach center instead. Kept feeling the motion of it, and tried to stay in the present moment, knowing every bit of its movement. Later on I felt the warmth energy on the stomach and sometimes flow all over the body. I used to practice Chinese Chi gong / Yoga, so I know the existence of this energy form, but still I was a bit distracted when it happened. Usually it does not happen when I meditate, probably because I focused my attention somewhere else, not the center of the body. Anyway, I kept observing whatever happened. There were few times I got carried away before I realized and pulled myself back. Sometimes I had to remind myself to relax since I put too much attention to the center. Overall it is good as usual.

Not bad today. I both walked and sat still. Since I just woke up from a quick nap that became a long one (6 hours), I felt a bit blurry and dizzy, but I tried to focus on the breath and the feet (while walking).


The thing is I was not meditating for like 4 days, I need self-discipline or encouragements! Say something to me :)

A bit distracted, but I tried observing and acknowledged it. I switched to meditate while walking later on, it helps when I am not still.